Monday, January 18, 2010

In This Space

I was walking down the street, hunting and gathering (shopping for groceries), contemplating what it meant to be in the space: why am I here? The eternal question dogs man from generation to generation and the answers vary from person to person. It was something I needed to answer for myself.
I was in a few accidents as a child, one of which knocked me unconscious. I awoke to find paramedics, my parents, and a few neighbors hovering over me. I tried to sit up but hurt all over. The paramedics held me down so I didn't further injure myself but, honestly, they needn't have. I couldn't have even sat all the way up on my own. While recuperating in the local hospital, I had the thought, even at that age, that I had died and another me had entered the body to finish living out the life I should have. I noticed a change in my luck, a change in the way I was treated, and a change in the way I approached things. It would be glib to say the changes stemmed from my own fears after the accident. I can actually accept that, to a degree. We all change based on our experiences. I can only assert that there was a core change in me that appears to happen in life-or-death circumstances, the effects of which changed me beyond just the physical realm.
At that young age and into adulthood, I wondered I had experienced a realm-shift. That there was a Me who avoided the accident and lived a healthy and lucky life that I should have had. Instead, the accident shifted me to a less-lucky and less-healthy life. My Own Hell.
So, walking down the street, contemplating My Own Hell, I had the thought: everything here is mine. It's my Hell, after all? The words sprung to my lips without bidding: I am Thee and Thou art Me. Everyone here is me.
I had to stop my walk and look at the world again. Everything seemed to fluctuate between two-and three-dimensions. Something grounded my heart chakra in that moment, and the world seemed like its old self once again. But I had glimpsed, briefly, the veil between worlds.

No comments:

Post a Comment