Friday, February 26, 2010

Beads Me

I was holding a mala I had ordered online. While I gently rubbed the worked beads between my fingers, I idly wondered where the beads had come from and who had worked on them? My mind wandered and I envisioned a group of elderly men and some younger boys sitting around talking and laughing. One boy in particular is soon going to join his father as an adult. It's not fully automated and it's not fully hand-made, somewhere between the two.
A few moments later I wake from my vision, uncertain if I've seen the way things were when my mala was made or if it was something older still. Or, heck, if I've even had a vision worth mentioning?
That little voice that warns us when we're about to do something stupid is getting louder and I'm listening more than ever. It's saved me several times in the past few weeks. If this keeps up, I might just have a conscience worth listening too!

Monday, February 15, 2010

Now With Wings

After a difficult break-up, I settled into a new apartment behind the police station. Over the two years that I was there, I was startled to discover first hand just how many pests lived in the city, both the crawling kind and the human kind.
One thing that I could never explain was the white moth. There was only one and I watched it fly into my closet. Since I had a wool coat and a tuxedo in that closet and assumed it would go for those clothes first, I was concerned that the moth was going to ruin some expensive clothes. I dashed across the room and began a frantic search for the moth but never found it. My clothes suffered no damage.
My next apartment was a few blocks away and more cramped than I realized when I had looked at the place. I had problems arranging things there and began the process of purging, though I never got very far. I also was without A/C for the first time in my life during one of the hottest summers in the city. Sweating profusely with window fans and screen doors open for any fresh air or breeze that might happen by, I saw a white moth flutter around the room and disappear towards the closet. Again. I went in search but never found it and nothing appeared to be worse for the experience.
After that, I moved in with a friend in a completely different area of town. One afternoon, I was carrying my lunch from the kitchen towards the front room to watch TV when I saw a white moth fly into my bedroom headed for my closet. I set my lunch down and went to investigate but already suspected that I would find nothing. When I did not, I went back to lunch. I was learning not to be overly concerned about this creature.
Now, I have moved in with two of my former roommate's friends (he moved to another city). I have seen a white moth three times now, twice after moving in and once today.
I did not bother to see where it flew off to.

Friday, February 5, 2010


I was restless, trying to sleep. There were so many things going on at one time and I was trying to let each train of thought come to a rest so that I could rest.
I was struck with a profound sense of danger. Instantly I was awake; but, I was pretending to be asleep. My heart was pounding, I was beginning to sweat, and I was plotting an escape.
I had heard two voices approaching rapidly, as if being carried on a fast stream. They were distant at first but they quickly arrived at their destination: my bedroom. And something about them radiated danger.
I recall one of them asking the other when I was going to wake up.
"Oh, he's awake. He's been listening this whole time."
I was busted, which did little to avert my growing sense of dread. I was certain that they were here for me, but to what end?
"If he's awake, then we should go. He's probably heard too much already."
"Can't I give some advice or reassurance?"
"No, you know that!! I think you've said too much as it is. He's bound to figure out who you, at least, are!"
"Hey, you in the bed, remember to... just... don't give up."
"Ok, that's it. We're leaving."
"What?! I don't think I revealed any great mysteries?"
Their voices were already fading away. My pulse slowed and I hopped out of bed and looked for some sign of the intruders but there was none.
Sleep was now impossible as my mind raced with the potential of what those men intended and what they cryptic message they had said could mean. I did, eventually, drift off to sleep. But it was restless and nearly dreamless.