Saturday, November 14, 2009

On Expectations

I try to live my life without expectations. I have learned that want often leads to disappointment. If I can release the want, I can ease the disappointment.
For example, I can count on one hand the number of times I have celebrated my birthday ON my birthday. On becoming an adult, I can likewise count the number of Christmases my family celebrated on Christmas Day. I learned, eventually, to not fret the trivialities of the calendar. The danger, then, is that I do not have the same expectations for time/space as other people, namely my employer.
Getting stood up on a date, then, leads to disappointment not in being alone but in missing an opportunity to spend time with a (potential) friend. Being rather good at entertaining myself and not afraid to see a movie by myself or eat dinner alone, I am used to being on my own. Sometimes that's preferable; sometimes company is nice.
Sometimes the Loneliness Daemon tries to sink his teeth in; I can defend myself pretty well. On getting stood up, I have to determine if the person is honest when they belatedly apologize; an honest man deserves another chance.
Cutting the expectation lessens the disappointment. Sometimes people will misunderstand but that's something I will have to deal with. And not get disappointed by.

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